My life is a mess, or, balance is overrated

I am exhausted. I arrived home last night from a huge week that included 24 hours of the dramatic effects of food poisoning. This is the second trip this year where I have found myself holed up in the shower of a dodgy hotel hurling.

It’s hot in these countries I work in, and so very humid, it saps the life out of me. By 7am I can feel the sweat trickling down my spine and I already smell bad.

Our plane from Buka airport, Bougainville back to Port Moresby on Thursday was delayed for 7 hours after we had driven for 3 on a bumpy road to get there. Just to be clear there is no lounge at Buka airport, there’s not even any food or water, and air con or fans? Please. I did however manage to snap this gorgeous pic of a little girl wearing her mum’s shoes,while another kid ran around and around my chair bored out of his mind. By the the end of the day his shirt was off and hanging from one of his ears!

IMG_0332 My mother worries as mothers do. I wonder how long I can sustain the impact on my health. My travel clothes will soon no longer be wearable.

Like most working parents, I hate leaving my kids. My heart is at home when my body is in the jungle (trying to find a place to pee among the spiders and ants).

I don’t know how many working fathers are asked, “just how do you do it all?” but I am asked that all the time. Interestingly my kids have another parent and he does just fine caring for them when I’m away, and where I’m here too. It’s a funny question.

But I know what people mean when they ask it. Just how do you stay sane, how do you stay on top of things, how do you keep a sense of balance, how do you DO IT ALL??

The simple answer is I don’t.

Balance is overrated. It implies calmness and order and normal working hours and clean bathrooms. Apart from feeling pretty calm this morning, there’s nothing on that list happening in my life right now.


And that’s ok. It’s ok because I love what I do, I’m passionate about it, my kids see that and I would rather they have a mum who is doing what she loves and is fulfilled in that, than a mum who keeps the house perfect and sparkling. I hope they follow their dreams in lieu of a clean house and a well ordered life.

It’s also ok because I know how to take care of myself. I eat my veggies and don’t eat sugar.  I never miss yoga and get 8 hours sleep every night. I stay connected to what feeds my soul and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to learn to meditate.

I did crash earlier this year and hit a wall of tiredness. I now work from home one day a week and have become quite close to my Naturopath. So I’m not advocating craziness and burnout. But while my normal is different to yours, don’t take the safe path because you’re worried your manicure won’t stay nice and your clothes won’t get ironed.

Passionately pursue what your gut is telling you you’re made for. Create your world, don’t let yourself die in someone else’s.

And I can promise you there won’t be a lot of balance in that.

Team ‘a Girl & her world’ is made up of mums who work and study and stretch in all kinds of life directions. We are busy baking our lush cakes that you can buy right now for Christmas and organising our event coming up in 2 WEEKS! We’re excited. I’m excited albeit exhausted and in need of a green juice and some chicken broth.

Get a little unbalanced this weekend, live the life you want to live!


Jane for team ‘a Girl & her world’







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